mill-iam:

Hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon

October  19 71,649 notes

outoutbriefcandle:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

'Im hella erect'

October  19 372,414 notes

jizzkin:

straight people on tv show: *literally have sex*

*silence*

gay people on tv show: *exist*

ok.. :\ but… ok like im not homophobic… :\ im ok with gay people but why do you have to shove it in my face… :\

October  19 139,455 notes
October  19 114,529 notes
October  19 85,982 notes
October  19 45,060 notes

undeniableking:

2radd:

angrythecake:

poeticslave:

kyriasmith:

beben-eleben:

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!” 

This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! 

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.” 

The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!” 

This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! 

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.” 

This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!” 

This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!” 

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. 

This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! 

So who are the real robbers here?

Oh

Wow… If you don’t read this, you’re wilding.

This is rather relevant to how I ended up in my job position…

wow

Dammnnn

October  19 212,954 notes
October  19 689,208 notes
  • bird: chirps
  • me: wtf what tab is that coming from
October  19 235,351 notes
October  19 846,995 notes
((sunglasses emoji)) ((sunglasses emoji))

mill-iam:

Hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon

October  19 71,649 notes

outoutbriefcandle:

tigerhazard:

jamdoughnutmagician:

there is not one search term here that isn’t magical

i know ive reblogged this before at least twice but i decided to read through the entire thing this time and im in pain from how hard i am laughing please forgive me

'Im hella erect'

October  19 372,414 notes

jizzkin:

straight people on tv show: *literally have sex*

*silence*

gay people on tv show: *exist*

ok.. :\ but… ok like im not homophobic… :\ im ok with gay people but why do you have to shove it in my face… :\

October  19 139,455 notes
October  19 114,529 notes
October  19 85,982 notes
October  19 45,060 notes

undeniableking:

2radd:

angrythecake:

poeticslave:

kyriasmith:

beben-eleben:

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!” 

This is called “Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! 

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.” 

The older robber rebutted and said: “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!” 

This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! 

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.” 

This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!” 

This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!” 

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. 

This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! 

So who are the real robbers here?

Oh

Wow… If you don’t read this, you’re wilding.

This is rather relevant to how I ended up in my job position…

wow

Dammnnn

October  19 212,954 notes
October  19 689,208 notes
  • bird: chirps
  • me: wtf what tab is that coming from
October  19 235,351 notes
October  19 846,995 notes